After a termination of parental rights, court and stress. Being a family member fostering a relatives child is hell.

The TPR after mass.

Yesterday I did one of the hardest things I will probably ever do in my life. Testifying in court against my cousin as the foster parent of her child. Was it the right thing? Yes. Was it the truth? Absolutely yes. Do I feel great about it? No. Will I ever? Probably not.

I had made my choice long ago. My cousin is an adult. As an adult, she can pick herself up off the ground and decide to be a better person for herself and her family. As an adult, she can also choose to do nothing. Doing nothing is a choice.

I chose a child. A child didn't ask for a mom who wasn’t there.  A child did not know not to trust her mother behind the wheel of a car because drinking was more important.  As an adult, I chose to protect and nurture a child who deserves a chance.

I made my choice.

My heart still aches for my cousin. The Adult. The one that couldn’t grow up. An adult that hid behind lawyers instead of showing up for her daughter. I laughed with her. I grew up with her. I’ve cried with her. 34 years is a long time to love and know someone.  

I know that I did the right thing.